Music makes you hot

Posted by Blokeman on August 29, 2008 under General Bloke Stuff | Be the First to Comment

I don’t know what it is but for some reason seeing a chick on television that has a massive brain database of musical trivia knowledge and factoids really does it for me. You can take an average looking girl, and I stress this because this just wouldn’t work for ugly girls. Sorry but if you is ugly, then you is always going to be ugly to me!

However you take a girl of average looks, someone that usually would take you 1 or 2 under the belt for you to make them good looking, say they might have a few extra kegs on them, packing a little bit of feminine chub. Again not too much chub, lets not get carried away, fat is fat, and the only fat I want in bed is the one the pendulum between my knees, no amount of knowledge or beer is going to drink you pretty, sorry.

Anyway you take the above average, but not ugly and not too fat girl, you throw in some major music trivia and an incredible taste in music and suddenly they become hornbags that make my loins quiver.

I am of course speaking of Myf Warhurst, once an average and slightly fugly back-room JJJ host, now glamour of extreme proportions! Sure with her new found Spicks and Specks fame she has decided to glam up alot but it is really her ridiculous knowledge of all things music that allow me to overlook her minor imperfections…..

So Myf here is a massive blokeman salute to you, you hot, not too ugly, not too fat, music loving hornbag, keep doing what you are doing, cause we are loving it!

– Myf looking average: http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/11/06/myf_warhurst_narrowweb__300x430,0.jpg

– Add music, Myf looking hot: http://blogs.theage.com.au/entertainment/myf4.jpg

Womens Secret Business

Posted by Blokeman on August 14, 2008 under General Bloke Stuff, Women | Be the First to Comment

Honestly some days I wonder, is there a secret school or re girls from a young age taken from class into a special female only class and taught how to nag?

I have been with my fair share of women and every single on of them knows how to nag and they all nag in exactly the same way. Not matter how many times you answer the original question, no matter what you are in the middle of they all seem to manage to nag you to breaking point until you either do what they want or snap back at them, in which case they get the shits, cry and you end up doing what they wanted anyway because you feel bad now.

It seems that all women are taught the ‘nag’ voice, the one that has that slightly nasal and pissed off tone to it “Honey can yooooooou do this!” yes I can, when I am good and ready woman, so shut up because that is the 4th time you have asked me and the answer hasn’t changed!.

Worst of all I think they are taught the most opportune moments to nag, for instance, when you have your arms full of all the latest crap she just bought whilst you also struggle with the keys to open the front, door with them standing there tapping their feet because they are oh so burdoned by their hand bag, the you get the “Hurry up, open the doooooooorrrra!” or a question as to when you are going to take the garbage out or whatever. “Bitch, can I get in the front door put your friggin hundred pashmina nad shoe purchases down and perhaps just relax for 5 minutes”

Or even worst, this morning I was greeted,  after getting up 1 hour before my partner to take te dogs out to go to the toilet and fix a fuse with the lights continuously shorting out in the bitter cold. I walk in the back door shivering and mention that we will need to get the electrician out to look at the circuits, because the fuses are all fine.

What do I get back?
Not as you would imagine an “ok, I will call him later” or even a “Ok, can you please call him when you get a chance” (The situation isn’t mission critical it is only the outdoor lights that trigger the switch)

but nooooooo, what do I get “Well you better call him now, or we may have to wait a week until he comes”

my reply, “I will call him soon” (it was 7am)

“Call him now”

So me being a male I did the only 2 things that I could here

1 – I snapped back and told her I would Effing call him later when I got a chance and had perhaps had a coffee and some breakfast

2 – I stormed off to my office pretended to make a call and told her I got his voicemail.

FFS If you want it done so quickly pick up the phone yourself!

Arrrrrghhh Women, can’t live with them, can’t get away with grinding them up and feeding them to pigs!