So heinous is the breaking of the rules I can barely bring myself to publish this.

However this site and rule breaker need to be outed!

What is the rule I hear you ask?

• Rule 4: No man, excepting for on his bucks night, Mad Monday footy team celebrations or for comical appeal, shall wear womens clothing, wearing of womens clothing and attempting to make it Manly is a crime against all who have penis knocking between their thighs. Rule breakers should be shamed and forced to watch movies such as Rocky, Dirty Dozen, The entire collection of Chuck Norris shows and movies and last but not least, should watch at least 24 hours worth of Lesbian Porn, to hopefully drill it out of them.
• Rule 4, Sub-section a: If during the viewing of the Lesbian Porn, the perpetrator of the heinous act again Manliness, utters any line such as “Wow I like her dress” or comments at all upon the lovely actresses clothing, apart from saying “She is wearing too many clothes” the man shall immediately hand in his penis to the nearest surgeon and be forced to become a full time woman, banning them from a spot on the couch during any cricket, football or car racing event.

You have been fairly warned people

Look, I am not scared to admit it, but some things just creep me out. As much as being a bloke is important, somethings just don’t fall under that umbrella, and to me that is Grasshoppers. These creepy disgusting insects, are quite clearly the spawn of Satan and should be eradicated from this earth or at least treated with a fair amount of disdain and CAUTION.

My mates oft find it bizarre that I can fear and dislike these things so much but little do they know, these bastards bite!

Not only do they bite, I am sure not many of you have seen this but they also have this horrible weird brown penis like extension that comes out near its stomach and probes around, if it is a dick, well these bastards are well hung as well.

I use to be a normal kid and have no fear of grasshoppers, insects, spiders and all the stuff boys get into, then sometime in my late teens and early twenties, I was living in a flat with my then girlfriend, a flat I like to call Grasshopper Place. Why? Because it seems they were the actual lease holders of the flat and not us. There were hundreds of the creepy little freaks. There you would be minding your own business asleep and happy for it, then you would wake up, open your eyes only to be met by the evil red eyes of anywhere up to 10 grasshoppers looking at you with an interest that can only be described as carnivorous. They weren’t small either, the smalles would have been around 5cm long with a rage in it’s eyes. They would jump at you randomly, bite you and rub their penis extension on you with delight. 6 months I spent in grasshopper hell, 6 months!

So reasons to hate Grashoppers:
1 – They bite
2 – They jump at you in the middle of the night
3 – They rub their penis thing all over you
4 – They are better endowed than me.