Posted by Blokeman on July 9, 2008 under General Bloke Stuff | 
Sometimes, I wonder why I or others allow me to open my mouth. Sure I consider myself to be of reasonable intelligence, however when it comes to witty rhetoric, I tend to lack the ability to control myself from blurting them out.
Saturday night was no exception to this well established rule.
We had people around for a BBQ, one of my dogs for some reason likes to torment my partners Mother. He essentially likes to sit either where she has just been sitting or, where she is going to sit. As soon as she stands up he is there.
One of our guests noticed this and mentioned that he seems to sit where ever she does.
Soooooo me being me comes out with what I think was a sterling comment
Guest: “Jeez, he seems to sit everywhere you have just sat”
Blokeman: “Yeah I have noticed that” turns to mother in law and says “Do you fart Scooby snacks or something”
whilst many a guest laughed, my partner was none too impressed, neither was Mother in law, in particular because she had come to the BBQ with her new boyfriend of only 3 or 4 weeks.
Oh well….come on dogs, it’s to the dog house with us!
Posted by Blokeman on March 3, 2008 under General Bloke Stuff |
Seriously what is it with people these days, always wanting to get involved in other peoples business and sticking their noses in where they just aren’t welcomed.
Last week I was driving a grand total of 300-400 metres to pick up my girlfriend in the pouring rain so she wouldn’t get soaked. I loaded my dog in the car with me as he had been inside all day and headed off out of the garage. My dog layed down with his head and body across my lap and went to sleep. Now my dog is not a big one, he is a King Charles and still a puppy, so he is hardly in the way, in fact he isn’t. When I pulled up at the lights he jumped up and stuck his head out for a second, I put him over to the passenger seat, he laid down on my lap again.
Now it is important to note that he only stuck his head out the window when the car was stationary and I put him straight down where he was not in the way.
At the next set of lights on this extremely light traffic road in an Industrial Factory area and this bloke pulls up in a massive four wheel drive next to me, winds his window down and says to me, “How can you control your vehicle safely like that?”.
I replied, “Well I seem to be managing it fine thanks”.
He said, “Don’t be an idiot mate, what if you have an accident?”
“Then that will be my fault, I don’t complain about you driving a big fucking four-wheel drive in Suburbia do I?, so mind your own fucking business!”
“You could kill someone”
“What by having a dog asleep on my lap, I am driving 50 more metres and not getting above 40KM and hour, hardly dangerous, so chill the fuck out”
The argument continued pretty much along the same lines, eventually I ended it by turning to him and telling him.
“If you don’t shut up and mind your own fucking business, I might fucking Kill someone in a second”, I punctuated this with a well timed and aimed stare that suggested the conversation were over. I lea
