A Christmas Biff

Posted by Blokeman on December 27, 2007 under General Bloke Stuff | Be the First to Comment

Punching Snowman

What is a family christmas without a punch on between brothers or family members. Generally every Bloke Family reunion ends with some kind of argument, fight whatever. I mean think about the recipe.

Take 1 part family members of various ages who barely see each other due to long running feud, different goals etc
Take several parts various alcohol including spirits, liquor, Beer, wine and champagne
Take 3 parts competitive games
Take at least 1 part dickhead and 1 part parents who turn a blind eye

I mean really you might as well throw half a dozen cats into a box together and see what you get. However on this occasion, me the usually most passive member of my family, the one who usually just ignores the crap and gets on with life, was in the think of things, and I am not proud of my actions but feel well and truly that I was within my rights and had no other course of action. I won’t give you background and things that have happened in the past as I don’t want to persuade you either way, I will give you the raw facts of what happened on christmas day/night and let you decide.

I want your feedback on this one, let me know what you would have done, and/or whether what I did was right or wrong.

So I was leaning over the veranda railing talking to my girlfriend whilst she has a cigarette, my 28 year old psychology student and father of 2, brother was standing behind me, all of a sudden my back was burning because my brother decided it would be funny to put his cigarette out on my bare back. I turned around and hit him once in the head then walked away. Everyone started playing their rounds of Sing Star challenge, I decided to leave it as I didn’t want to ruin Christmas for everyone and sat down playing with my puppy.

About 30 minutes later, I was outside talking to my nephew (not my brothers son) when my brother came up and demanded that I go buy him more cigarettes from the shop.
I told him to get fucked, and why would I buy him cigarettes when he just burns me with them or puts it out on my back. To which he replied, “Yeah, but that was funny”.
I was obviously not impressed with this answer, because no matter how drunk someone is, only sadistic serial killers and morons would find that funny. Wishing to believe my brother was neither, I simply and calmly asked him if he really thought it was funny.

In all seriousness he replied telling me it was funny/hilarious, etc. So with 26 years of rage behind me I snapped, and knocked him onto his ass with a fair punch and shove, knelt down on him with my knee on his chest and my hands on his throat and asked him once again if he thought it was still funny and whether he thought the position he was in now was funny, I also asked how funny he would find it if I got a cigarette and put it out on him or his sons (something I would never do, but I was introducing him to the concept of consequences and of his actions on himself).

I gave him one more passing clip around the head stood up and walked off, my family saw the tail end of it and jumped to his defense, saying that it was probably and accident and so on, until my girlfriend and nephew jumped in and told them exactly what happened. I packed my stuff in my car, called a cab and took off and don’t really plan on spending too much time with them going forward until they can acknowledge his wrong in the situation.

Oh and finally, would you like to know my brothers reasoning? and this is the reasoning of a 28 year old 4th year psychology student, who is married with 2 children.

“I saw it on Jackass and thought it would be funny”

I feel sorry for his poor kids if he thinks that behavior is acceptable I fear for them and the world with those morals!

So did I over react? was I in the right? Let me know!

Bah Humbug

Posted by Blokeman on December 25, 2007 under General Bloke Stuff | Be the First to Comment

Being Christmas day and me bored waiting for my Girlfriends plane to land before I can pick her up and swing by the family event, (read go get drunk). Add to that having a restless night of not feeling too well and waking up at 6:30 a.m, I am not in your typical “holiday spirit”, speaking of spirit (that was a seqway worthy of Today Tonight), is anyone else curious as to just how many more different version of the Christmas, “scrooge” story we really have to have?

For the past two nights there has been nothing but version upon version of this story, and too me, last night things just went that step to far, when I was subjected to a Tori Spelling version, named something along th lines of Carols Christmas or something equally as painful. I mean why do TV/Movie execs think that we need further version of this story, we all get it, and putting a questionable looking woman on the screen for yet another rendition just makes me want to weep.

I would digress further but I have seen that many versions of this story that I am losing the power to care!

Merry Christmas