Posted by Blokeman on March 8, 2009 under General Bloke Stuff | 
As some of my loyal readers may know, Imade the move from Sydney, NSW, Australia to Hervey Bay, QLD, Australia. Since moving up to this regional area from the city, I have had to learn many things, and come to terms, with the major differences, in climate, friends, lifestyle and the differences in the natural world.
I have been confronted, with snakes, almost run down by kangaroos, spiders as big as your hand, grasshoppers that are directly from the Jurassic period, rain so heavy you would swear you were swimming under a water fall and coming to terms with owning a home and the various activities that go with that, i.e. building and maintenance.
It looks like now, I will be confronted with my first ever cyclone. A cyclone is a severe tropical storm, known as a Typhoon or Hurricaine in other parts of the world. The one header our way is apparently the same in size and power as Hurricaine Katrina that devistated New Orleans in the USA. At this stage the cyclone is sitting a fair way North of us but is heading nearly directly towards us, but only moving at about 15km/ph. There is an eerie feel about the town, though by and large people are just going about their business.
Tomorrow will be the exciting time for us. We are likely to go from Watch (48 hour warning) to Warning (storm going to hit within 24hours). Basically that means, we are in iminant danger, and it is time for us to not only clear all loose objects and tie things down, but also to prepare to either evacuate or if staying, get inside and stay inside. Winds are picking up and we need to make our decision by midday tomorrow of whether we are staying through te storm or whether we are high tailing it to safer ground. The Blokeman in me says stay, chain myself to a tree and take that sucker on, the adult in me says pack the car, photo albums, dogs and fiance and get the hell out of town…….though I think we will take the middle ground secure the house, have some friends and family over and ride it out together in the hallway of the house…….
Bring it on………………….
Posted by Blokeman on February 20, 2009 under General Bloke Stuff |
I thought I would preempt this with apologies for a lack of posts. I just haven’t had time nor motivation what with other projects and work getting in the way, this post, too will be brief.
Last night I was awoken with a sudden pain in my stomach and as realisation dawned upon me through the haze of the world between awakedness and comforting slumber, I threw back the sheets and made an all out dash for the bathroom, kicking my little toe on the door frame on my way through I swallowed down a scream and continued my dash of mercy.
Making it to the bathroom in the nick of time, I managed to remove said boxers and proceeded to spray paint the toilet bowl a violent shade of brown and probably yellow I spent the next 30 minutes or so sitting there, my legs a cramping, sweat beading on my brow and fighting off sleep, lest I slip from the porcelain throne and project my body produced art on the walls of the bathroom.
Thinking it was all over I cleaned up and decided the couch would be the best place to rest my head, due to it’s proximity to the bathroom and not wanting to wake my other half.
It was whilst sitting there, that I was reminded of an advert from my childhood, that wen a little like this: “How does it feel <insert something that you have done>, it feels like a tooheys” obviously, this advert lent itself to many a school yard variation, it was one such variation that came to mind and reminded me of the easer of youth.
“How does it feel, when you’re sitting on the Dunny and yours shit’s all runny and the doorbell rings”
For my non-Australian readers, a “Dunny” refers to the toilet.
I started to ponder on this little ditty, and thought how very apt and descriptive of the youth who came up with this, for I believe that many of us have been in the situation, where we have in fact been sitting on the dunny, and the doorbell rings, humans being naturally curious creatures are then split between finishing what you set out to do, on your journey to the bathroom, and getting up to find out who was at the door. For many the mystery of never knowing would be too much and they would have to get up, to others, well it’s a matter of getting through the ordeal and preferring to never know.
However…..when you’re shit’s all runny, well the choice, is taken from your hands, you have no way of getting up, unless you leave a slippery trail of disgusting mess, this is the true genius in the song. Because everyone knows exactly what it would feel like to be sitting on the dunny, with their shit all runny, and the doorbell rings……
Posted by Blokeman on January 13, 2009 under General Bloke Stuff |
I guess working in IT instantly qualifies you as a geek. In a way I am sure it does as well, however I like to maintain that I am not your A-typical geek. Sure I work on computers, run a few websites and don’t mind the odd technology gadget. However in my book that is work, and all my sites etc, are either a creative outles or business venture. My time outside of work largely consists of anything but IT. I spend more time out at the beach, doing home maintenance and generally avoiding the computer than is humanly possible.
So for years my family ridicule me for being the only non-tradesman in the family as if it is some form of effeminate thing not to want to toil away behind tools all day for less pay than I can get perched behind my computer at home.
However, now the tides have turned and I can happily smother my family with the ridicule they once reserved for me. Geocaching has swept through them, a craze like a wild fire. I take such wicked delight in reminding them as oft as possible of the sorts of single 30 something men with only their mothers for friends, who generally partake in this activity globally.
They have provided me of tales where they have bumped into fellow geocachers and described exactly the type of social retards you would expect of this sort of activity, red haired, freckle-faced with coke-bottle glasses.
In short now my Family are NERDS eeegads
