Posted by Blokeman on November 12, 2008 under General Bloke Stuff | 
Molicious Damage
That time of year is upon us once again, that’s right Movember. Last year Blokeman was a participant, and at about the 20th of the month declared aloud to all that would hear, that he would never again participate as a Mo’grower in Movember.
Well a year down the track, and a drunken night boasting the prowess of last years lip dressing to a new group of mates, in his new home, Blokeman once again has been suckered into the event. For 10 days I thought I had escaped the agreement, until a chance encounter with his mates on Monday night, and the embarrassment of being the only one with a naked upper lip, convinced him to once again join the fuzzy lipped elite.
So now, with a 10 day deficit on my mates, I am speedily attempting to grow face fur, using every trick in the book and hoping that come the end of November I do not end up with the embarrassing wooden spoon of moustache growing, known as Peach fuzz.
A few years back, I had an argument with the bottom of a pebblecrete pool, and ended up taking a fair few layers of skin from one side of my chin and the middle of my lip and nose. The event left me with damaged hair follicles in the middle of my lip and chin, meaning a classic mo designs such as “The Hitler”, “The Bottle Brush” or even “The Full Sanchez” are out of my blokish reaches, this my friends is the Kryptonite of Blokeman, the inability to grow a moustache that Tom Selleck would be proud of. No to my own ire, my Movember achievements are an embarrassment to me and my team mates, but I shall persevere and do my best.
If you don’t know what Movember is, head over to http://www.movember.com, but in a nutshell, during Movember men grow moustaches and raise money for prostrate cancer (the pain in the ass part). You shave on Movember 1st and then do not shave your upper lip for the entire month, you can not grow a beard or goaty, and the Mo must be prominent. You then raise money which goes towards the Porstate cancer research.
This year, the team I am in is called Molicious Damage. If you would like to donate to my team, all men would be extremely appreciative. As I say if you do want to donate, please follow this link https://www.movember.com/au/donate/donate-details.php?action=sponsorlink®o=2090721&country=au
Posted by Blokeman on November 11, 2008 under General Bloke Stuff |
Oh Dear!
My partner often says that I am weird, I try to retort with the fact that I am eccentric, until it dawns on me, I am not rich enough to be eccentric, so am resigned to being weird.
One thing recently raised this comment from my dear partner, we were driving a long and we went past two veterinaries however instead of being called a “Vet” they instead had “Animal Hospital” written as their name, seeing one, went unnoticed, but seeing the second brought a chuckle out of me, and my partner asked what I was laughing at, so i broke into the following:
“Every time I see “Animal Hospital” it raises pictures in my head of dogs and cats laying on their backs in hospital beds like humans with IV drips in them and heart monitors, and cats dressed as Nurses walking around and dogs dressed as Doctors, with stethoscopes and all, talking to the other patients. Kind of like the animal version of Scrubs.
And the cat nurses walk up to a bed with another cat in it, but then they realise it is another cat, so they start hissing and mowing at each other, and a big cat fight ensues, then the dogs join in and it becomes a big mess, then it Droopy the dog walks in in a white jacket and says “Oh Dear” and starts to try to calm everything down.
And Wiley Coyote is laying in a bed in the corner all wrapped in plaster and bandages with his leg up in one of those leg slings, and all you can see is like a mummy outline of Wiley Coyote, but just his eyes are showing, and then just outside the curtain, Road Runner is talking to a dog in a jacket in hushed tones to see whether Wiley will survive”
All of this popped into my head in a matter of about 2 seconds, so I explained it all to my partner, who chuckled a little, looked at me very strangely out of the corner of her eye and said “You’re Weird”, but seriously, what else am I supposed to think when you call a place an Animal Hospital?
Posted by Blokeman on November 10, 2008 under General Bloke Stuff |
Ding Ding
We have all at one time or another, awoken, casually opened one eye, then the other, letting the sounds of the morning hit your ears as you roll over and peer at the alarm clock. Suddenly you are gripped by sheer terror as your brain reels to figure out exactly what went wrong and you start on the calculations of just how late you are, and just what adjustments you will need to make to your morning routine in order to make into work, either on time, or with enough dignity intact that you wont have to utter the now, disbelieved excuse that your alarm didn’t go off.
As you have probably guessed this happened to me this morning. I generally set my alarm on my iPhone , and when I went in to set it last night, for some reason my saved alarms had been deleted, so being late and me already being on the edges of sleep quickly whipped up a new one for 6:30, saved it, rolled over and went to sleep.
As per usual I awoke at 6:15 thinking it was worth it to sneak in in another 15 minutes sleep I rolled the other way and dozed off again, somewhere in my dream (which coincidentally was about sleeping (I like sleeping OK., so back off!) I thought to myself, hang on, this dream has been going on for a while. My eyes popped open, already somewhat aware of the situation that was about to confront me, looking at my clock, I uttered the words “What the Fuck?” as 7:14 was blinking back at me from the red digital display on my bedside clock. My calculations didn’t come into effect, since I was already 14 minutes late to work. Luckily I work from home, so quickly threw on some clothes, skipped the shower and the coffee and hot-footed it out the back to my office.
So here I am, with the lines from the sheet and pillow still running their disjointed map lines down my face and arm, bleary-eyed and dusty-headed working in a state best left for the undead in cheap horror movies and lamentin the fact it was all my fault! I set the alarm for 6:30P.M!
