Soften the f%%k up

Posted by Blokeman on July 15, 2011 under Serious Side | Be the First to Comment

In a turn away from my usual modus operandi it’s time to post something a little more serious, and then back to my usual stuff later. Suicide, and in particular male suicide is ever on the increase. Much of this is attributed to the male bravado and ideal that a real man doesn’t need to share their feelings, the term “Harden Up” comes to mind.


A new grassroots campaign has been launched to try to get men to speak about their problems and as such lower the rate of suicides.

Read about it here http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/men-told-to-soften-the-f-up-20110705-1h0a6.html

For those who have had friends and family who have come to the conclusion that ending their own lives is the only option, they know the devastation, guilt and trauma that it leaves behind, often rippling through and damaging so many more lives than the person could have ever imagined.

I stopped posting very much on this site after a close friend of mine chose to end his life back in February 2010. It was a tragic time for all of his friends and family and he left behind 3 young and beautiful children. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him and not a day goes by that I don’t think to myself what more I could have done to prevent it. We all knew he was down and we all knew he had tried before, and we all tried to prevent it, but you can’t be with a person every minute of every day.

One thing however does come back to me and that is, if I had approached it more softly and asked him to speak about it rather than offering my typically male opinion and offering tough love. It doesn’t work and men certainly do need to learn how to be softer, and talk about their issues, whether to a friend, family, a therapist or even anonymously on the internet. The more you bottle it up and the more you think along the lines of “Harden up” the worse your situation will get.

Personally I don’t like the term Soften the fuck up, however its point is well made, even if mine is not.

So this post may be lacking in any real structural point, but I hope that some read it, think of a friend or think of themselves, and reach out and try to help someone, or themselves.

For those in Australia seeking help, please reach out to http://www.beyondblue.org.au/ a great charity and initiative that can help you work through your problems.

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