Everybody needs good neighbors – A follow up

Posted by Blokeman on September 18, 2008 under General Bloke Stuff | Be the First to Comment

The one or 2 regular loyal readers of this blog will remember my post a few weeks ago, about the classy neighbors I am surrounded with. The relationship has not been perfect but there is a great deal of blissful ignorance of each other going on and that has made the living arrangement workable, but uncomfortable.

Over the past month we have been overly cautious about the noise the dogs make, even though it is next to nothing, other neighbors in the block have gotten onside and well everyone thinks the bloke is taking the piss.

We have now become the flavour of the month with the little old lady across the street, but I have these nightmare visions that it is going to become like that movie “duplex” where crazy old lady keeps taking me away from my work to do little chores to the point I go insane and have to sell up……but it isn’t that bad yet, just had to change a light bulb and agreed to let her park in one of my Garages over Christmas….so far!

However the best neighborhood news of late is that, on my way from the shops this morning, I noticed a brand new “For Sale” sign out the front of the blokes house next door, looks like the owner is selling up from underneath them and the renters are going to have to go!

2 down, barking dog house to go!

Big Gay Following

Posted by Blokeman on September 17, 2008 under General Bloke Stuff | Be the First to Comment

I am sure that many of you have seen the British television series “Balls of Steel, with it’s cast of crazy comedians and actors who compete in a gameshow style laugh off to see who has the biggest balls or can do the most daring comedic act. It’s quite amusing, especially Neg and his Urban Sports.

There is another member on the team who calls his act “The Big Gay Following” essentially he calls workmen around to his house and when an opportunity arises, he turns up in his underwear or naked and utters the line “Fancy a Bum?”.

I was reminded of it today as I had workmen around my house putting in a new fence, I was struck with my usual morning urge to see some friends off to the coast (Have a crap). But I was struck with stage fright. It took me long enough to not be worried about backing one out with my Mrs in the same house, but workmen are a whole new story, what happens if they come looking for me and catch me laying cables. What if it smells so bad that even I am gagging, and they run off in disgust and I am left with half a fence.

What if they think I am the guy from the big gay following and am clearing house to ask them “Fancy a Bum?”

Much safer I hold it in and contort in pain until they finish!

Grasshopper, Rhinoceros beetles, Praying Mantis…..what next

Posted by Blokeman on September 4, 2008 under General Bloke Stuff | Read the First Comment

Every day I become more and more surprised at the wildlife around me in this new home state of mine, and that people do not live in constant fear of being attacked and eaten by grasshoppers and their entourage of insanely huge insect buddies that roam in gangs around the neighborhood with a blood lust and evil intent.

I am sure you may have read in the past my various post on grasshoppers and their pure evil that emanates from them in every waking moment of their horrible lives.

Well recently the family of bugs invading my work sanctuary known as “The office” which is a room that has been built as part of the garage. I suspect the cat has something to do with it still, but as of yet I can’t prove it, though she has taken to sleeping on my underwear in the cupboard and surprising me when I go to grab a fresh pair in the morning. All part of her plan for world domination I am sure.

Recently there has been a Praying Mantis about the size of  an iPhone perched on the screen door to the office, every time I walk past it rocks back and forth ready to pounce at my jugular. I took a photo, but haven’t had a chance to upload it so stay tuned for photo’s of my friend Sticky!.

Then last Saturday night as we sat there watching a movie we heard one of our dogs alerting us to the presence of game, after all Cav’s were hunting dogs at one stage. His alert bark was then drowned out by an almighty hissing.
“My god” I thought to myself, “what has he got there, a cat the size of a mountain lion?”

Rhino the Rhinoceros beetle

Rhino the Rhinoceros beetle

So out I trudged to check it out, and what did I find, a massive Rhinoceros Beetle, laying on it’s back with my dogs looking at it with curiosity. Then I heard it hiss, it was this “tiny” beetle about the size of a golf ball making a noise that sounded like a cat hissing. Not impressed I quickly grabbed a jar and imprisoned the little angry bugger to show my fiance who was stuck on the couch with a broken leg. The little bugger wouldn’t stop hissing, so he took a vacation over the fence, and let me tell you he sounded like a golf ball hitting the ground too!

What next?

Cane Toads I assume!