Music makes you hot

Posted by Blokeman on August 29, 2008 under General Bloke Stuff | Be the First to Comment

I don’t know what it is but for some reason seeing a chick on television that has a massive brain database of musical trivia knowledge and factoids really does it for me. You can take an average looking girl, and I stress this because this just wouldn’t work for ugly girls. Sorry but if you is ugly, then you is always going to be ugly to me!

However you take a girl of average looks, someone that usually would take you 1 or 2 under the belt for you to make them good looking, say they might have a few extra kegs on them, packing a little bit of feminine chub. Again not too much chub, lets not get carried away, fat is fat, and the only fat I want in bed is the one the pendulum between my knees, no amount of knowledge or beer is going to drink you pretty, sorry.

Anyway you take the above average, but not ugly and not too fat girl, you throw in some major music trivia and an incredible taste in music and suddenly they become hornbags that make my loins quiver.

I am of course speaking of Myf Warhurst, once an average and slightly fugly back-room JJJ host, now glamour of extreme proportions! Sure with her new found Spicks and Specks fame she has decided to glam up alot but it is really her ridiculous knowledge of all things music that allow me to overlook her minor imperfections…..

So Myf here is a massive blokeman salute to you, you hot, not too ugly, not too fat, music loving hornbag, keep doing what you are doing, cause we are loving it!

– Myf looking average:,0.jpg

– Add music, Myf looking hot:

Everybody needs good neighbors

Posted by Blokeman on August 27, 2008 under General Bloke Stuff | Read the First Comment

…..So why the fuck do I get stuck living next door to so many Dickheads?

It seems that no matter where I move or wherever I am I tend to cop the brunt of having crap neighbors. Not all of them are the nightmare kind that you see on so may Current Affairs programs but there is definitely a wealth of cocks that plant themselves close to me. With the latest spate of bad neighbor experiences I have had over the past few weeks it has started me thinking about what I have endured in the past, and then hold a candle to myself to see how I rate on the bad neighbor scale.

None of them really massively compare to some incidences I have had here in the past 2 weeks, it seems like the saying “Queensland, it is truly Gods country, why he filled it with so many dickheads is beyond me though” rings pretty true.

A few Fridays past, we were having a BBQ to celebrate the birthday of a friend, all was well and it was only about 9 at night when some of the front of the house having a smoke, when I heard some arguing and yelling from girls. I went out to investigate, and saw 2 guys and some other girls in the street hurling abuse at the girls on our front landing.

I asked what was happening when the guys in the street started hurling abuse at me and trying to ‘pretend’ to jump the fence to start a fight with me. I told them where to go, ushered the girls inside and left it at that. Later it all sparked up again, and there was one bloke in particular who thought he was a tough nut. Telling us he was on parole and just out of prison, as if that was meant to scare or impress us.

He had a go at one of the guys in our group and asked where he was from, my mate told him he was from Gosford, so the “tough-guy” says “I’m from Gosford too, Gosford Jail”.
To which my mate says, “ah there isn’t a jail in Gosford mate, there is a boys home, but that’s it”. The little fella didn’t like it but had been shot down, since well my mate is actually from Gosford and knows this!

Eventually we told them to piss off and it was over.

Once it was over I found the whole thing started because whilst we were out the back, they were at the fence and jumping the fence banging on the doors demanding to be let in to our “party” and then abusing the girls when they told them to go back to their own party (across the road) and so on….sheesh.

Since we have moved in the cops were at the house every month not the most pleasant people but they moved out last week.

And then we have nominee number 2 for dickhead neighbor of the year.

Whilst we were getting in the car to go out on Saturday morning he approached us having a go at us because our dog barks constantly and that if we are always out then we will have to do something about it. This perplexed me for 2 reasons

1 – I work from home and am here all day every day Monday to Friday apart from maybe 10 minutes out for lunch once a week or when I go to the shops after work.

2 – Our dogs are not barkers, they only bark when say all the dogs, including old mates next door, started barking our howling, they rarely if ever bark on their own.

So I asked him, “when are they barking?”

To which he said “All the time!”

Naturally i said “Even during the week?”.
He replied. “Yes all the time”.

So I casually mentioned “Mate, sorry but that can’t be my dogs, I work from home all day every day from around 8 -6. See that office there, that is where I am and they never bark, so I think you may be mistaken”.

Obviously he had been caught out here, because he kept telling us we are never home, and that threw him off. The dog he is complaining about is in fact the neighbor behind us and this guy spun too much bullshit and got caught out.
He got quite abusive at this stage, so i mentioned that his dog actually wines and barks most of the day because they are not home during the week and it is tied to the clothes line, so much so that before he came over I was actually considering going over there and asking if he wanted to put it in our yard with our dogs during the days so it doesn’t cry and doesn’t get bored or lonely. That kind of shut him up.

I wouldn’t have minded him mentioning it if he wasn’t such an ass about it. It is difficult for me to put into words how he approached us, of all the ways to approach someone to request or discuss something this was not the right one, I wouldn’t have been surprised if he was weilding a machette!

The Irony that capped it off was that whilst he was sitting on his Verandah just 1 day later one of our other neighbors from the other side (And who’s house is closer) whilst I pulled up because our puppy had gotten out of the yard, and right in front of the guy she told me how much she loves our dogs and how they never ever ever bark or make a noise! Ahhh you should have seen his face!

What about a sickie?

Posted by Blokeman on August 26, 2008 under General Bloke Stuff | Be the First to Comment

I don’t want to go to far down the politics path because it is essentially boring as batshit, but as I was perusing the morning news, I came across the following article. In a nutshell the article basically talks about kids who ‘wag’ school, or “truants” as the article and pollie so clinically refer to them have no chance in life and are going to end up destitute without jobs and so on.

What a bunch of bullshit. In Australia at least, wagging is part of the culture, hell the great Aussie Sickie is one of the greatest standing points that we have, we love it, and we rarely take sick days because we are sick, instead using them to piss off down the beach.

I know that for one, I hated the first High School that I was at. It was a Catholic High School and I am and have been an Atheist since a young age, so obviously there were many clashing of heads and personalities, so what did I decide to do, well I decided to wag basically an entire term of school. I think in that 2nd term of year 8 I turned up to school about 1 week out of the entire term and not all at once.

I still managed to get top marks in Art, Music and English but I think that says more about the class of me peers than the quality of my work.

From there I placed myself into a public school (that is a government school for the non-Aussies) which are seen as a poor education alternative. My parents wanted me to have the private education but I just couldn’t stand the rules, regulations and teachings of the bible that were so irrelevant a course of education when compared to such things as sciences, arts, English and Mathematics, yet it was compulsory!

So once I got to the public school, I put my head down and got to work, the rules were looser and I managed to thrive there. I learned a lot more than I would have at the upper class Private school.

Yet I still wagged, probably skipping at least 1 day a week for the rest of my School life if not more. School just wasn’t for me, I found it more of a hinderance to what I wanted to learn than a help and I found it largley wasted my time. I just don’t do well with authority!

So with all this skipping of school according to this Pollie I should be 26 and flipping burgers a Maccas, but instead I am 26 in a high paid IT job, something which I was not good at at school, nor did I get exposure to it at school. So mis Maxine whatever your name is. Pull your head in. You are a Labor pollie, it’s time to start remembering what makes us fundementally Australian and one of those things is skiving off for a day or two! If you wanted to be a Liberal Nazi, why did you compete again little Johnnie Howard?