Dream Catchers don’t do shit!

Posted by Blokeman on May 7, 2008 under General Bloke Stuff | Be the First to Comment

Long time no post……..busy busy boy and all.

For the past two or so weeks I have been having nightmares pretty much every night, nothing particularly scary in reality and nothing I will go into because people telling you about their dreams is just plain boring, and no matter how much sense the dream makes in your head the plain fact is it is fucking boring to hear and all over the place. so just leave it at that ok? cool.

As I was saying I have been having these nightmares, coupled together with neighbours who wake me up with their 20 second sexcapades and yelling at all hours of the night (if you are reading this and live in Artarmon, then please stop fucking waking me up) and then my dog deciding he needs to wake me up so he can go and piss in the backyard. All together, I haven’t been sleeping a whole lot, and clearly it is taking it’s toll on my sanity.

In a measure to try and combat this, whilst I have been packing everything in the house ready for my big interstate move I came across a dream catcher that quite obviously belongs to my girlfriend who has already moved, quite clearly it isn’t mine because I am not gay!

I decided I had nothing to lose as I am sick to death of sleeping in patches of 1 – 2 hour increments and waking up for 30 minutes in between. So I slung the fucker on the light fitting above the bed, dusted my hands together and exclaimed to the empty room in general that my worries were now over, no more nightmares and a nice easy sleep.

Fuck was I wrong there! As I have always expected these are simply gimmicky pieces of hippy clutte, designed to make the owner look alternative, or more accurately, like a wanker!
Here is the result of my dream catcher experiment.

1.  I was awoken, as normal due to another nightmare shortly after 1a.m.
2. I was awoken from another nightmare at 3:30a.m.
3. I was awoken at 4a.m. by my dog barking at the dream catcher hanging from the ceiling because he didn’t know what it was
4. at 5a.m. I was awoken by my dog wanting to pee

I gave up at this point got up and went for a walk with my dog, came home had some breakfast, showered and watched TV before work.

In short Dream Catchers do nothing but hang from the ceiling and make you hope no one sees it there, in case they decide to bring out the pink floyd albums, Petulie candles, black lights and organic food!

Tonight I try sleeping pills!