Is your newspaper more important than people?
Posted by Blokeman on December 14, 2007 under General Bloke Stuff | 
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What is it with those people on trains and buses who read those massive broadsheet newspapers? Hello, I don’t know if you have noticed but we are rather cramped in here, and what with the scarcely being enough room for us to shift from ass cheek to ass cheek, I would have though having a paper that spans somewhere around 1.5 metres is a little excessive.
I mean really lets not pretend that you are intelligent, rich or whatever other status you are trying to tell the world you have by reading a wanky high end paper, that is clearly to high brow to compact its news into more people friendly pages. The fact is you are a wanker, and you would be no less intelligent for not reading the latest atrocities, doing the over-sized sudoku or the most likely for you corporate wankers out there, reading the latest cricket scores, or the cartoons, but holding the paper because it is the main vestige of status symbol that you can hold on the train. You quite obviously think, people are looking at me and thinking “Look at that guy, he must be (rich, intelligent, concerned with the affairs of the world, he is a real go getter”.
The reality is, we are all looking at you thinking, man he must be in sales and have a real issue with the size of his penis, thus the large paper, and the look of self importance.
I have news for you! all that crap you read on in that over-sized, over-priced paper, you can read for free on the internet, if you really were rich and intelligent and concerned with the affairs of the world, you wouldn’t be wasting our natural resources by using 1 tree per day jsut to print the crap you digest.
Better still, the far more intelligent figured out that this is in fact a great way to spend your mornings looking like you are working and getting paid to do it.
Just maybe……people want to sit down on those seats, they don’t want to be rubbed up against by your newspaper and have to choke on your air of self-importance, so fold it up put it away and let someone have a rest before work.
Now go buy a fucking book from the shop, read that and stop taking up 2 seats just for your wankerisms, by far the best thing that people like you could do is re-discover your imagination, because you sure are going to need it to keep up appearances, after all your partner has had to find hers, just to be able to cope with life around you……. Wankers!
