Romancing the Stone

Posted by Blokeman on November 29, 2007 under General Bloke Stuff | Be the First to Comment

A symbol of slavery

For some reason over the past two weeks I have had two separate friends mention their plans to propose to their girlfriends and all the wonderful romantic plans that they had, but I couldn’t help but notice the tone in their voice, a tone that sounded like they wish they didn’t have to buy that big fuck off ring, or at the very least could just go “hey love how about it” over a bowl of popcorn in front of a movie on the couch.

Well it got me thinking about it all and thinking back to the time I proposed to my ex-fiance (if I can be bothered I will put the story down another time) and how much I spent on that proposal, 1 night that is pretty much a forgotten memory somewhere in the “mistakes” pile of my memory, I can’t help but think the money I put down on that ring, plus the money spent just on the night, would have been better put towards, paying off my car, buying consumer goods I don’t really need or hell even burning it.

Eventually my thoughts wandered onto where and why we go to such extravagances to ask our partner to marry us and essentially who isto blame for all of this free for all spending and “romance” or even this ideal of romance that is so ingrained in all of us, dangerously and more so in women. You know who I blame? I blame Hollywood. That’s right, everyone else does for some thing or another, so I am damn well jumping on that bandwagon.

Every movie dating back years has been filled with ridiculous romantic notions and tried to show the softer side of men, but I tell you in medievil times when we were all pretty much living in, and smelling of pig shit, romance was something that were for the aristocratic poncey class, whilst the rest of us were pretty much left to say “How about it love” after first sticking down our hair with the spit from our mouths.

It may interest some of you blokes to know this, and even to subtly inform your lady friend of the same. I shall share with you one of the more popular beliefs as to how the engagement/wedding ring came into being, and hope that this will help to shed the shackles of the romance and mystery to the whole thing, so blokes sit down, relax and read.

The History of the Rings

Hollywood will have you believe that it is a romantic notion, and that spending a crap load of your hard earned crust is a symbol of dedication to your dishwasher, I mean partner.
However the truth is a whole lot more sinister, and the popular theory and belief of the rings origins stems from the era of the caveman, the belief is that a chord was used to bind the womans hands and feet so that she could not escape, or run away. It is well known that cavemen were all about bonking a chick over the head and dragging them off to his nice cosy cave. Being a typical bloke, he didn’t want his Sheila running off and skiving on the cave cleaning duties, so he bound her hands and feet, then as he grew in trust that she would not run away, the bindings were only tied around her hands, and finally when he was sure she would stay the it was reduced to only a single chord tied around the finger, as a reminder of his possession over her and that she could be bound again at any time.

Mmmm romantic hey fellas and women. It was all about slavery and ownership.
How do you like them apples?

So ladies forget this romantic rubbish that Hollywood have pushed into your head, and when you dream about the day your man proposes to you, don’t think about how romantic it is, remember that you are accepting the original symbol of servitude and sexual slavery.

And blokes out there, don’t worry about the romance, hell if you don’t want to don’t worry about the ring, just say “look I respect you too much to place a symbol of slavery on your finger and I don’t want to disrespect you by honoring such a sick and twisted tradition, so I respectfully as that you will marry me” and blah blah blah

Screw the romance, screw Hollywood and screw diamond rings!

Shotgun Rules

Posted by Blokeman on November 27, 2007 under General Bloke Stuff | Read the First Comment

A number of weeks ago, my girlfriend, two friends and myself were headed out to dinner, we had previously decided that we would leave from my girlfriend and my place, in her car. Once we were all ready to go, we walked out and I called shotgun, knowing full well that i was within the right to call it at this time.

Not satisfied with this, another member of the group disputed my right to shotgun and started to introduce line of site rules outside the generally excepted rules of shotgun (i.e. once outside the house, shotgun can be called, regardless of whether then entire traveling party is outside or not) further discussion was had on the short walk down stairs and to the car.

It seems that despite my insistence on many of the generally accepted rules, the other party member was a gaper, and the best thing that i could do at that point would be to just let him have the shotgun position whilst I crammed into the back of the car….Jordan, I’m looking at you.

So for future reference I went back in search of the shotgun rules that I was sure I knew, and I came across this site. I want to pass it on to all as i think a global unity in shotgun rules can only benefit us all as a society. So please take a moment to read the following site, and further still grab a copy of the book and save us all http://www.shotgunrules.com/

Is sentiment something of the past

Posted by Blokeman on November 26, 2007 under Serious Side | Be the First to Comment

This may be a little bit more serious and soppy than posts that you are generally use to from blokeman.com, but it’s something that has been on my mind for a while.

It seems to m that sentiment appears to be slowly fading in importance to many, now I don’t know if this is due to a decline in the socialist style culture of Australia and a push toward more pure capitalism which we have seen over the past 11 years of the Howard governments rule in Australia. From some of my disjointed ramblings you can probably tell that I am somewhat of a socialist, I am not talking about your extreme socialism, of the communist kind. I am more of a Democratic Socialist, the reason being for this, is that wealth is not of great concern to me, sure at one point it use to be, to an extent, everyone grows up with the ideal of being rich and famous and not having to worry. But what occurred to me as I have grown older, seen more of the world, experienced life as an adult, had my highs and had my lows, is that, no matter the amount of money in your pocket, you will always have worries, concerns and priorities.

So as I have traveled through life and reached the age now of 26, I have been able to figure out what is important to me, and it isn’t the car I drive, the house I live in or the things I own, I know this sounds conceited and ClichĂ©, but it is the truth and something it has taken me a long time to realise.

You see these days, what is important to me means so much more, and it is something that how much I earn can not change, and if it does, then  the things I lose as an effect of having less money just are not worth having anyway. As corny as it sounds these days what I enjoy is quality time with my girlfriend, family, dog and friends. I enjoy the simpler things, like playing soccer with mates, surfing and just relaxing. Somewhere over the past 11 odd years we have lost this ideal, the ideal that Australia use to be great for and we all started chasing that extra buck, that bigger car and that big house. We should very much be ashamed about this in my view, and i am glad that I have started to realise the importance of the above simple pleasures.

What this lengthy waste of disk space is really leading to is the loss of sentiment, over the past few years I have noticed that not only have people stopped adding sentimental value to activities and to the small pleasures around them and their families. More and more people say I am too sentimental, but I fail to see the problem with this.

You know what, I think I more just wanted to wax lyrical about a socialist society……